#7. Why should you make a human connection, not a "quid pro quo" proposition, to assure a successful (business) relationship?

Have you ever been cold-contacted by someone offering a "quid pro quo" proposition?
If so, why did it feel wrong?

What is a "quid pro quo" proposition?

The term, from Latin, means "something for something" and often carries a negative connotation. In its original meaning, it means a barter or a win-win exchange.

Human connection first.

Building a relationship based on mutual respect and understanding can create a foundation for a successful exchange that benefits both parties. 

Let me explain my motivation for writing this post.

A few years back, I ran “Chicago Android,” a Google Technology Developers Group. I organized and often presented at over a hundred technical conferences and developed a relatively large network of thousands of people.

Since then, my LinkedIn has also grown, and I love having all these connections on my social media. However, it comes with a price, too; many people are reaching out with "cold" offers.

I want my social network to be a pleasant and beneficial place.

Cold contacting is a numbers game.

People initializing cold contacts are usually hungry for quick success. They think that if they get to the point quickly, they will appear professional and efficient and will not waste each other's time.

I appreciate brevity, too. People who work with me know that I often say, "OK, let's move on" in meetings.

The "cold" contact approach is a number game that works.
Many successful people have tested and proven that if you contact enough people, you will perfect your sales pitch and succeed. I believe it. But it robs everyone the wrong way.

Also, because you might be the fiftieth software consultancy to write today, the odds of succeeding this way are low.

A different approach.

Yet, I propose a different approach based on long-term growth that is more compatible with this author’s premise.

What does everyone care about?

I have quite a few people I never met with whom I am happy to chat.
They are not the cold contacts.

Here are my five characteristics of positive professional relationships:

1. Seeing Beyond Immediate Goals:
It's essential to approach others as individuals rather than as opportunities. Seeing beyond the immediate gains will foster a connection that leaves a lasting impression.

2. Asking the Right Questions:
Genuine curiosity makes us stand out. It shows we care about the person, not just the potential benefits. Answering the question might give the other person the pleasure of becoming a mentor. This is important, as we all wish others would find us interesting. When asking questions, please remember that executives cannot reveal anything about public companies.

3. Sharing Personal Interests and Aspirations:
By opening up about our lives, we invite others to be similarly open, paving the way for mutual connection and understanding.

4. Building Mutual Trust and Understanding:
Trust can't be rushed. It's cultivated over time and creates the foundation for deeper connections.

5. Respecting Each Other's Time:
Our time is precious. Respecting each other's time underscores our sincerity. A very long sales pitch does nothing. There is a saying, “I am writing this long letter because I had no time to write a short one.” Find time.

Summary on relationships

Trust comes with profound rewards. Through the gradual development of the relationship and trust, our cold messages transform from white noise to welcomed communication with a trusted person.

Once the relationship and trust are established, asking how I can help you is natural.

In the end, successful networking is more about the quality of our connections than a quid pro quo exchange. While cold contact may seem efficient, the time and effort spent building genuine relationships yield far greater results and more opportunities in the future. Our messages become not just another message or email to be ignored but a communication from a respected and trusted friend.

Tips for networkers

1. Study the contact’s profile

2. Find genuinely interesting facts or commonalities

3. Like their posts

4. Re-share their posts

5. Comment on posts when appropriate

6. Update your profile to match another person's interest; please, no falsification, just “repositioning,” especially when applying for a job.

7. Once your name recognition is established, contact the person with a short, non-commital compliment message.

8. If not answered, go back to 1

9. If answered, do a few non-comital, non-selling exchanges

10. Switch to the business only when the relationship warrants that.

Everyone, including senior executives, wants to have relationships and appreciation and sometimes even be mentors. They may have no time, but they want it.

Respectfully,

Uki D. Lucas
https://ukidlucas.beehiiv.com/p/recommended-books

P.S.

Listening to:

• Big In Japan by Ane Brun • Changing Of The Seasons • 2008

How can you get more value from this?

1. You should personalize your profile so I can send you topics that interest you.

2. You should reply to my emails. It makes us friends.

3. You should share this letter with friends. I am not kidding. More readers mean more feedback, which means more refined stories. Referrals open the door for you to a premium subscription level.
   I will make it worthwhile.